Episode 60: Rockstar
I gather my Nashville-based coaching clients once a month for a full day of leadership development. Most meetings feature a speaker who will talk to the group about a topic related to leadership. The speakers are generally former executives who now operate consulting practices, but this week was quite different. The group had the pleasure of meeting and learning from Sandy Gennaro , a professional drummer with over 50 years of recording and performance history. Sandy’s Rolodex is The Who’s Who of music. He has performed with the Monkees, Bo Diddley, Johnny Winter, Cyndi Lauper, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, to name a few. Sandy is a true rockstar , both as a musician and a speaker. I would highly recommend Sandy for a conference, event, or team off-site.
I can’t possibly relay the entire message that Sandy delivered, but the spirit of his talk anchors around principles that I subscribe to and will highlight in this week’s episode.
Conceive, Believe, and Achieve
I’m the first to say that many of the “gurus” in the personal development space are too hokey for me. Their message feels disingenuous and condescending. It may work for some people, but I’m not a sheep and way too skeptical (some would say controlling!) to let go of the wheel and let someone in a shiny suit drive. However, I am a huge believer in mindset as it relates to outcomes. Being intentional and having a positive attitude are critical for success. The opposite pose would be the classic victim mindset, where people blame their situation on external circumstances. If you want to enrage me, and ensure a miserable existence, act like a victim. I have very little patience for that nonsense. We all have our challenges—some more than others. But each of us can choose a positive mindset.
It’s easy to conceive but do you believe? Faith is the hard part. Putting in the work and exercising patience is where most people fail in life. They let their fear of failure (or fear of success) stop them from starting, or quit too early. And then the victim mindset prances out. Look at what happened! Look at what they did to me! Look anywhere but inside of me!
A close cousin of the victim mentality is entitlement. I deserve these things! Why am I not getting what I want? This situation isn’t fair! I can barely write the words without my eyes rolling back in my head. People with positive mindsets approach obstacles with the perspective that a setback is an opportunity to improve, or recognition that you may not be ready, or the belief that something better is around the corner.
There is often a letdown for the people who conceive and believe and earn the opportunity to achieve. One of the most common feelings after “getting to the top of the mountain” is “it’s not what I thought it would be” or “it doesn’t feel that different.” The reason being achievers have such conviction of their goals that achievement feels predestined in their minds, and it was just a matter of time. So when the achievement arrived, it felt familiar. This irony is why successful entrepreneurs say the journey is the reward. If you aren’t enjoying the struggle and the climb up your mountain, whatever that may be, then you are climbing the wrong mountain.
Everyone Has Something to Offer
I’ve learned many life lessons, but one keeps resurfacing: everyone has something to offer. I am a classic ENTJ on the Myers Briggs, a “3” on the Enneagram, a “DI” on DISC, and a “Persuader” on Predictive Index. Some may say that adds up to asshole. Perhaps so. But I tend to make goals, create a plan, work hard (efficiently), make decisions, observe results, adjust if needed and restart the cycle. I know this sounds like a ball of fun to be around. One area where I can get in trouble is overlooking or underestimating people who aren’t like me. I can quickly judge and rashly conclude that someone is dim, or lazy, or strange. More often than not, when I take the opportunity to get to know these people, I’m blown away by what I find. Some of the most interesting people in my life could easily be overlooked based on first impressions.
I’m not an overly religious person, but I do believe we are all connected. If I am successful in a vacuum while other people are suffering, I can’t have inner peace and happiness. What’s the point of achieving something if you can’t share it with other people? When you die, your possessions die with you. Our legacy is what we do for others. Lifting those around us and finding ways to help people should be a daily practice. Taking time to get to know the cleaning lady in your office, or the cook at your local diner, or the postman who delivers your mail are simple steps that make a difference in people’s lives. At work, do you know the names of your employees’ kids? Do you show an interest in employees’ lives outside the office? Little gestures can go a long way in building trust with employees and lead to a more meaningful existence.
How Big is Your Frying Pan?
There is a parable of two fishermen on a boat enjoying a day on the water. One of the fishermen is older and more experienced. The other fisherman is younger and ambitious. The bite was strong, and the two friends enjoyed a successful day of fishing. The younger fisherman observed that the older fisherman would release all of the large fish he caught and only keep the smaller fish. The younger fisherman asked the older fisherman why he released all of his prize fish? The older fisherman replied, I only have an 8-inch frying pan. What’s the point of keeping anything bigger?
The moral of the story is how much is enough? The beauty of living in this country is we all get the opportunity to determine how big our frying pan is and what we put in it. Some people have large families, and some people have small ones. Some people embrace lavish lifestyles, and others prefer the tranquility of a simple existence. That’s a personal preference. However, there is a limit at some point, and you need to assess how big your frying pan is and realize anything beyond it is a waste of resources.
Some people may read this section and scratch their heads and wonder if I’m suggesting that growth isn’t good. That would be an untenable message for someone in the Executive Coaching profession. I proselytize growth. But growth can come in various forms, personal and professional. And, the reality is financial gain enables people with a platform and resources to help others. Doubling the size of your company can help create more jobs and enrich the lives of others. So the message I’m relaying is to think about your intention and motivation, maximize your potential, and lift others along the way.
I. Below are the articles I found interesting the past week:
II. Stats that made me go WOW!
- Alabama football coach Nick Saban hasn’t officially named Bryce Young the Crimson Tide’s starting quarterback, yet Saban says that Young is already approaching $1 million in endorsement deals.
III. Name that Tune!
I am listening to “Rockstar” by Nickelback as I write this newsletter. (I realize I am going to catch grief for showcasing Nickelback and Whitesnake in back-to-back episodes of my newsletters. Fair enough. But you have to admit this video is fantastic. You are lying if you aren’t singing along by the end.)
Nickelback is a Canadian rock band formed in 1995 in Hanna, Alberta. The band formed in the early 1990s as a cover band called “Village Idiot.” The band name originated from the nickel in change that a band member gave customers at his Starbucks job. He would say, “here’s your nickel back.”
The band performed covers of songs from Led Zeppelin and Metallica before moving to a pop-rock sound. Nickelback is one of the most commercially successful Canadian rock bands, having sold more than 50 million albums worldwide. In 2009, Billboard ranked it the most successful rock group of that decade.
The song “Rockstar” is one of Nickelback’s most popular singles, peaking at number two in the United Kingdon and selling 4.5 million copies in the US. The lyrics feature the pretentious, materialistic desires of a wannabe rockstar who craves money, cars, and women. Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top provides spoken-word vocals between each verse. It’s a fun video and a great way to kick of the weekend!
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